i wish i was thinner

i wish i had more of a life

i wish i had more friends

i wish my room was tidier

i wish i enjoyed my job

i wish i’d done more with my life


so what am i doing about it? nothing.

i wish i was thinneri wish i had


Last night while sitting I leaned forward and experienced pain in the top of my leg/side of my groin. Feeling the area I found a marble sized hard lump roughly where my underwear leg sits. It was tender to touch and when I walk, sit for a while, or lie on my side in bed there is some pain. I walked more than usual yesterday so I don’t know if that has something to do with it, or if it is something more serious. I didn’t sleep a lot last night from worrying. I guess I give it today and if it’s still there, make an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow night. Or wait longer. Who knows.

Last night while sitting I leaned forward and

Musically Crazy

I just bought a pair of musical Egg shakers online. I take these notions sometimes. I currently own:

  • Electric guitar
  • Nylon strung 3/4 size acoustic guitar
  • Ukulele
  • Tambourine
  • Tin whistle
  • Small bodhran

I cannot play any of the above listed items. The electric guitar has had the most use but after learning some of one song and bits of others, it has sat gathering dust. Occasionally I will grow to love some new band and they will make me want to learn again, so the cycle continues, but it has never continued long enough for me to actually properly learn the guitar. The tambourine has never been out of the box. And now I add egg shakers to the list. Why? I don’t know. Will I ever manage to play anything musical? I don’t know. Hopefully some day.

I think at the moment the issue is that I am very shy and I live with my parents. Playing the guitar, or even the tambourine, or even the egg shakers produces noise. I don’t want anyone to hear that noise. There is never time where I am home alone. I think if there was, I would learn something by now.